I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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