It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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