There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
