Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm at about main and main street
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
