I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
