So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
