I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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