Nicole vs. Life
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
