All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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