he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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