Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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