My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I have post one night stand depression
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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