Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
