idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Mom said you looked used
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
