hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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