At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
do herpes really smell.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
