We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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