Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
