Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it glows. i had to have it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
