Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
