I need to stop coming to work sober
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
