does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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