I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
