Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
