Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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