i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
