theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize