Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
