I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
