she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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