I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
