you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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