I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
