i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
