you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize