You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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