i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
