I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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