it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
