so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
