The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
