just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I fill condoms, not promises.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
