Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize