from now on my penis is your penis
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The best revenge is premature balding
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
