I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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