you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
