Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
