True but thats because hes a fetus.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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