it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
