ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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