That's intense
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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