this boner is exhausting
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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