is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize