Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
