so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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