Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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