I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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