Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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