i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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