Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
